Living Examples

Great question, isn’t it?

So at 11.30am on Thursday 9th June, that’s the question that DNA LightUp founder and CEO Melanie Pledger asked – and answered – at TEDx Swansea. It truly was a day filled with magic, inspiration and connection, as Mel and a group of amazing speakers shared their take on the event’s theme: Tomorrow’s World.

The talk will be uploaded on the TED website by the end of June and we’ll be posting the link here – and everywhere – just as soon as it’s available!

To find out more about TEDx Swansea, including details about other speakers, take a look at https://tedxswansea.uk/

Recently an incredibly brave young woman came forward to tell us she had been a victim of date rape.

Having experienced DNA Light Up in 2018, she felt a nudge to let us know what had happened, and how the tools had helped her when other people seemed less than willing. Whilst asking to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, she has given her permission to publish her story.

Here is the message she sent to us:

“In August 2019, I went on a date with a man and he spiked my drink and took me back to his place. I blacked out for about 5 hours (I’ve never blacked out before so definitely wasn’t from the 2 glasses of wine I’d had that night). I came round for a few seconds at one point in pain but I couldn’t move.

The next few days were very strange – I was very ill, in pain and confused. On day 2, I went to the pharmacist to get the morning after pill and I hinted at what had happened and prayed she’d ask me more questions and she could help, but she didn’t. I also tried to get a test to show the drugs in my system, but I was running out of time. I’m not registered with a doctor where I live, and after speaking to 4 people on the phone (and not one of them asking if I was ok), I was told I’d have to go to A&E if I wanted a test done. I didn’t go because it wasn’t an emergency, I was probably out of time anyway, and I didn’t want to tell someone again and feel dismissed.

I think that day was the worst because I felt so alone and so confused. What I didn’t realise before is what a clever crime it is – it left me confused and questioning myself as much as I was questioning him, and I don’t think people believed me.

BUT (an intentional gremlin 😊), the reason I am telling you is because I was, and I am, ok. I stopped questioning myself within a couple of days and found that faith and trust in myself that I’d been looking for before Light Up. I thought something like that night would ruin my life and yet somehow it hasn’t.

I know that you and Light Up have a huge role to play in that. For me, that’s the beauty of Light Up and what you do – even when I feel like I haven’t tuned in with my light recently or that I’ve ‘lost it’, it’s always there. Light Up tapped into something that when I needed it, it was there to stop me retreating into panic and fear of the world. Perhaps the sense of self and self-worth I gained from Light Up meant what happened didn’t completely cloud up my car windscreen on the drive through life and instead is just a dead fly in the corner.”

Many of us are either parents to children of university age, still studying or have recently completed formal education. Whatever our connection, most of us are all too aware that mental health amongst students is at crisis point. The current world situation has added extra fuel to the fire. Many are struggling, and they deserve support. Institutions are, of course, aware of the scale of the problem. It’s simply that the resources at their disposal to tackle the challenge are inadequate and already stretched to breaking point.

Which is why we’re blatantly stepping forward, shouting out and inviting parents, teachers and students to come forward and find out more about our work. This fast-acting solution has already been endorsed by head teachers and health professionals, as well as university students and young people in schools and colleges, and we’re able to support so many more people, right now:

• It’s fast – guaranteed results in three live video sessions, delivered within one week of starting
• It’s fresh – practical tools that deliver immediate an profound results, that deepen rather than diminish over time
• It’s focused – employing experiential techniques to explore global issues and specifically relating them to each client

Charlotte went through Light Up three years ago, when she was struggling to cope with bullying from her peer group, combined with exam stress. It helped her during her gap year, and is now helping her to deal with the pressures of the global situation we’re facing today. Despite her university experience being very different from the one she’d been hoping for, Charlotte says:

“Light up has given me the tools I need to create a positive mindset and atmosphere around me. So that I can enjoy the little things in life, and if anything gets too daunting I am able to light up and always have a genuine smile on my face.”

Phoebe, 18, had suffered confidence issues for many years –

“Light Up has honestly changed everything for me. I started it quite skeptical and unsure, but the entire process has been nothing short of amazing – I seriously can’t recommend it enough. My whole outlook has changed, I have so much more confidence, certainty and trust in myself now. Light Up really is life-changing, especially for a young person who could really do with a little faith in themselves.”

With mental health challenges on the rise, we’re keen to partner with universities and colleges so we can provide fast, effective relief and care for students. Now.

If you know anyone who is struggling, please do encourage them to get in touch for immediate support.

If you’re connected to a college or university and would like to find out ways we can partner together, please email mel@dnalightup.net to arrange a call and explore opportunities.

Human trafficking is a pandemic. It’s worldwide. And it’s local. It’s happening right under our noses, and whilst there are growing reports of trafficking rings being brought to justice, it remains a very real and rising threat – not least because it’s such a distressing subject, hard to absorb. I (Mel Pledger) first met Emma Crews in 2016. This was the first time I heard, first hand, about the living nightmare of modern-day trafficking. Not in some other country. Not miles away. Here, local to me in France, and happening in broad daylight on my doorstep.

Emma has worked tirelessly, since 2013, to support women who have been forced into prostitution through trafficking. I learned about a heroic group of people working for an association called Les Ami-e-s des Femmes de la Libération (Friends to the Women of Freedom) set up in 2015 to help victims of human trafficking and forced prostitution. Poitiers is a relatively small city in South West France, with a population of 90,000.

Their front page delivers this message:

In Poitiers, until 2017, there were nearly 70 women working in the streets who were forced into prostitution. Mostly from Nigeria, the women often do not know how to read or write. Prostitution was never their choice: they arrived in Europe and were delivered to pimps who forced them into prostitution, threatening the death of their families back in Nigeria. Violence from clients and pimps is their daily life. Sometimes these vulnerable women have the courage to leave prostitution, when we reach out to help them.

I took Emma through Light Up. The sessions together were raw, dark, painful and hard-hitting. She had witnessed so many dark stories of torture and abuse, faced so many battles to secure help and shelter for the women she was so passionate to support, that she was exhausted. Feeling drained and scarred, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, she even said that she could never imagine bringing a child into a world that is so cruel and dark.

It was the summer of 2016, and we were running the latest Activator Training residential course. This was when we first met Benedicta, who came to us as a volunteer to experience her DNA Light Up experience in the presence of our trainees. Our Director of Training, Sharon Bott, stepped forward to take her through. The rest of us sat to the side, to observe in person.

We wept as this beautiful woman told her story. Her face was grey. She looked at the floor, tears rolling down her face as she whispered “Even my conscience tells me I’m nothing but a filthy prostitute”. She told of the deception, the pain, the torture, the stranglehold that the pimps held over her, as well as the threats to her family. She left her home in Nigeria and came to Europe with the promise of an education and a bright future. Instead her fate was to be forced to sell her body. Raped. Tortured. Abused. Penniless. Living in fear … She had very nearly given up hope.

She had a young child and was fearful of not being able to look after him. Yet something inside had kept her alive, somehow she’d found Emma, and Emma had brought her to Light Up.

After the very first session, the changes were clear to see. She had a smile on her face. Her eyes were brighter. She stood taller and moved more freely as she began to regain her power. By the end of the experience (three sessions, a total of five hours), she emerged as a shining warrior, unrecognisable from the broken soul who first walked through the gates

We found ourselves whooping with joy, dancing around the garden with her as she transformed in front of our eyes. It was utterly glorious, a precious moment that remains burned in all our memories. Thank you Benedicta. Your journey was a privilege to witness, and you remain an inspiration to all of us to this day.

Move forward to today. Both Emma and Benedicta are transformed. Both have made such seismic changes to their lives, they each recorded a video to share their experiences with DNA Light Up – Benedicta’s son makes a cheeky appearance in hers! Both these incredible women continue to inspire others. Emma continues to work tirelessly for the cause, and Benedicta is helping and encouraging other women who are going through what she endured.

Les Ami-e-s des Femmes de la Libération http://www.lafl.fr/

United Nations Report https://www.unodc.org/documents/human-trafficking/Country_profiles/Western_Central_Europe.pdf

“My journey in DNA Light Up has been amazing. And it’s just that. My journey. I’d no idea what to expect. I was simply asked to give my honest reactions, whatever they were. What I have worked through and continue to work on … is real, raw and at some points a bit snotty (sorry!). Feel free to talk to me about it.”

Meet Helen Donnelly, a friend of a friend who kindly (and bravely) agreed to give a step-by-step video account of her personal journey through DNA Light Up.

This is the first time that we’ve found a way to show the real-life transformation that happens through the three key stages of the Light Up journey – Discover, Ngage and Activate. Helen’s reactions are captured in three short videos.

So let’s see take a look at what develops for Helen as she moves through her journey!

We meet her first shortly before her journey begins (when she’s understandably a tad nervous – as she says, she’s no idea what to expect!) and then again, just after she’s completed the first (Discover) session.

In the second video we meet her twice, just after she’s completed the second (Ngage) session and then again after the third (Activate) session.

The final video catches up with her two weeks later – by which time she’s started the 12-week email course, Shine Brighter For Life, and joined our online community.

“It feels like I’ve been rested, like having a good meal …” she says. “This is so different, it’s like a lightbulb moment! The phrase of Light Up is so spot on!”

As we say: feel brighter in three sessions, shine brighter for life. Yep, does what it says on the tin.

Thank you Helen, and thank you to Andrew Lopez (of Elevated Shorts) for making this happen and for compiling Helen’s responses on her ‘journey home’ in such a beautiful way.